Too fat for 40 online dating sites

At first I was horrified, and deleted such messages which filled my inbox. But then I learnt that one of my dates – a handsome 45-year-old energy trader – paid all the other girls he went out with for the evening.The non-exclusivity didn’t bother me – but I felt a mug for providing for free what he would have been willing to pay for.I realise some readers may be shocked by what I am about to divulge, or even consider that what I did and other women do on these sites is tantamount to prostitution.

Then I accepted a trip to New York with a fortysomething Canadian property investor. He took me to Prada and bought so much that I had to buy another suitcase.

It was only after I spent an evening comforting a friend who had been dumped by a casual boyfriend (he had strung her along pretending he wanted more commitment than he really intended) that it dawned on me that paying to go on a date was a more honest way to conduct a non‑committal relationship.

Receiving money or gifts from your date is his way of saying “I like you, I want to spend time with you, I want to sleep with you, but I’m not prepared to meet your family or go to Ikea with you on a weekend”.

I was in my late twenties, a television producer, and fresh out of a suffocating three-year relationship with a man who drained both my time and my finances when I signed up. Instead, I fantasised about someone older, more sophisticated, more established.

And, if I’m being honest, someone with some money, too.

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