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But for the ‘other man’ this is a painful transition from a illusory relationship with a married woman in a triangle with a married man to a period of being alone again where some serious work can be done on his love-life (if he’s up for it).The work needed is usually in the area of developing a better tolerance for love and intimacy by clearing out whatever fears and blocks the guy has in the way.In some instances he ‘knows’ his wife is cheating on him and looks the other way.In other instances his defenses are so thick he doesn’t read the signs at least consciously.I know the story books tell us that it’s better to stay together.But I think there are plenty of people who never should have gotten together to begin with.The question is whether or not the married man will fix this intimacy issue with this wife.It’s hard to tell, some couples can pop out of a triangle and do the work of recommitment, others can’t and end up doing it apart, alone, or with someone else.
Let’s do one at a time starting with the ‘other man.’ He is definitely looking for love in the wrong place and with the wrong person.
By the way, when people say they are afraid of intimacy think ‘exposure’ to what they themselves have difficulty accepting in themselves.
Most people I’ve met who are afraid of intimacy, lose the fear when they accept and feel better about themselves.
In this kind of triangle with two men and a woman, there are instances when the two men fight over the woman.
This kind of drama is amusing only because if they know how connected they both are and how much they have in common they might realize that it would be more profitable for both of them to have a conversation together about the whole thing in a coffee shop or something.